As I sat here and type these words, I think about people. I think about those people who have been in my life since the day I saw the world. I think about those people who entered my life and left, and those who entered and stayed.

Where did I pick up these questions? How did I even survived 17 years of a bitter sweet life? I am thankful, for the people in my life. Even for those who came and left. For those who caused pain and scars. Without you guys I won't learn. God is fair, I got hurt, He gave me the strength to heal and move on. Things have gone so wrong and perfect. Things have been so sweet and bitter. But here I am, still holding on with thousands of things running through the mind.

Someone once told me that people don't actually move on, they flip pages, and sometimes they wanna go back to those pages to feel the happiness/pain again. The other times they grew fond of the pages they've flipped. To some extent I agree. coz it happens to me. Every once in a while I will go back to those pages, feel the sweetness and bitterness again. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I feel like dying as the pain comes back. but no matter what those pages were part of my life, those pages were something I treasured the most. Those pages were once what I wanted the most. If only I could turn back time....

I still wish I could go back to those pages. I guess I was a little piece of rubbish on the street. Nobody cares where that little piece of rubbish is going. Nobody cares if that lil piece was getting burnt / showered by the rain. It's just rubbish anyway. When I think about it again I lose respect for myself. But after all I still want those pages back. If I had the chance to edit, I would. The pain has gone but the scar is still there. Such a deep scar that it still hurts when I think about it again. It's been ages but the pain's still there. Why?

Just don't give somebody your all. Coz in the end you'll be the one getting hurt.
This is a freaking real talk.