Too much

I'm just having so much in my mind I can't even tell you what I've done today.
I just have to continue typing, let out of everything on my mind. Let everything go away so that I could sleep tight tonight.

Firstly exam's coming. it's like NEXT WEEK. I have no more time to procrastinate. I feel like crying, wish I could have more time to study. I've been studying everyday but then it seems like it doesn't make much of a change. I still have A LOT that I don't know.

Followed by this thing that I've never wanted to think about for the whole week. Our 1st anniversary is on the 7th, ths Saturday. but we simply have so much things to go through. we haven't been talking abt ths. I might be the only one feeling it as you all know he's not a very sensitive and initiative man.
We really haven't been talking much ths week. it's like everyday I would say hi first, not that it's a problem. it's just weird. I've failed my past relationships I just don't want stupid things to ever happen again.
And like I'm always the one who tells my stories. I tell him about things going on around me. on the other hand he just wouldn't tell. if I happen to ask him like 'how was your day?' he would jst answer 'nvm it's jst like usual. nothing much :)'
I was like OKAAAYY . but when it happens everyday don't you get annoyed ?
we are together why can't we jst have more topics to be discussed about? if I'm tell him abt all the bitch wars and all, he would jst be like 'haha' 'hehe' or wadever. I know it's not really appropriate to tell him things like that but I'm jst trying to look for something for us to talk about. why can't he see that I'm trying so hard for everything to go right?

Time does fly but this time, all I've got to wait is 7 MONTHS. 7 MONTHS to go. Another problem would be, I have no freaking idea whether I could get my BB working when I'm in Oz. what if we don't have bbms anymore? how are we gonna contact? it's not like he's gonna stay up late for me. besides, we have like more than 15 hours time difference.
everything in front of me seems so hard to be gone through. sometimes I feel like stopping, the other times I just don't want to. I've been struggling for more than 8 months I wouldn't just give up things like that. but then again, in the end I'm just a little girl, who needs him to be beside me. I know I have like lots of friends, but they're jst not gonna be the same. I miss him I can't deny.

ugh Lord, I really need my girls right now :(